it is that simple

again with the can’t sleep.  so i’m downstairs reading all the blogs i haven’t read in a while.  thinking i should probably post something on my blog.  thinking who cares anyway.  who reads this stuff.  it’s like putting your heart on your sleeve or your life right out there for all to see.  all – the whole world.  okay so although i enjoy a good blogpost just like the next person, i still have this “thing” about my own thoughts on a device that gets viruses and is called a web.  reminds me of this crazy h1n1 thing that noone wants.  also reminds me of what spiders do to their prey.  does that happen to my words when i stick them out there on the web?  i don’t know.  it makes me think about the days before blogs and ipods and ds’s and yes even cell phones, although i must admit i use mine regularly – but that comes from many years of driving a vw van and needing to call the local towing company from remote places.  maybe i’m getting old.  maybe i’m getting tired.  maybe not.  maybe i’m getting smarter and life is getting simpler.  i truly wonder why we can’t all just be friends.  at least in the unity of our Saviour.  could it really be that simple?  does the good book really contain good news?  isn’t it that even while we were yet sinners He died for us – then tells us to do the same for each other?  i don’t have the same story as anyone else.  no snowflake is the same as any other snowflake.  my guess is neither are the stars the same as each other.  have you noticed the glory in the dying leaves?  are any of those the same?  so why is it that as humans, we expect others to be the same as us?  God doesn’t.  yes, we must be the same in order to be different and therefore be the same.  meaning, we must be in Christ to maintain our uniqueness that God gave each of us in order to love each other as Christ loved us and be in unity as He commanded us.

i think my mind works differently from most.  i have come to understand that i will not understand all this until i stand with Christ in the heavenly places.  this may be the reason for this post.  when the computer age goes tilt, will anyone’s journal ever be found and made into a book for all to read the history in that person’s lifetime?  will the computer age ever go tilt?  should we just blog on into oblivion?  or should i get out my journal?  i wonder what would have happened to george washington’s history had he blogged all his thoughts on the pages of space.  or robert louis stevenson’s? or what if beethoven was so busy blogging that his ninth was only a note, not a symphony.  or what about the letters with tattered corners from far-away places rubber-banded together in the dusty shoe box in the attic that were found after the old house was sold?  hands clutched those words, those hugs written by their spouse so many years before.  how can you savor those treasures when they don’t exist?   “and she clutched the old computer monitor – trying to remember all the wonderful notes he had blogged especially to her”    what if the Lord had just blogged the Bible.  then y2k really happened and all was lost?

okay i’ve gone too far.  must be the cynic in me.  maybe i’m just a romantic and i like the feel of a smooth pen too much.  maybe i’m addicted to journals.  like my aunt who was addicted to buttons.  or my ex who was addicted to alcohol.  now there’s another rabbit trail.  i guess maybe life isn’t so simple.  and maybe i’m not getting smarter.

i read those other blogs and i think that i don’t fit in.  i just can’t seem to tell cyberland how my garden grows.  or what my children did.  or what i made today.  sometimes i wish i could.  many times i compare my self to others and of course i come up wanting.   who would read my stuff anyway?  my folks don’t do computers.   what sort of wise counsel would draw others to my site?   i’m just a sinner saved by grace.

oh, it is that simple.      and now i can sleep.